Individual Identities

How do you encourage your multiples to develop and maintain their own individual identities?

Mulitples and More has the above as QOTW and I felt like answering some of the questions they posed over there. Mainly, to let my girls know my thoughts someday, and to let the new moms know my experiences as my girls are 7 and we have dealt with or dealing with forming their identies as young almost tweens.

Do you plan to, or already separate them in school?

My girls are just finishing up first grade and were together since starting school. Next year they will be seperated in second grade. I based this decision on talking to both my girls and what their teachers reccommended (it was a team taught class).

One of my girls really wants to be in a different class and the other does not next year. She is my b girl and does rely on her sister. Her teachers are hoping that she will blossom next year away from her sister and speak up more in class.

I will be honest, keeping them together is really convenient for the parent. It is going to be an adjustment next year for all of us. lol

Do you encourage your kids to pursue separate interests, or try to keep them in the same activities?

Last year we let them choose different activities for them to participate in. Once again life sometimes does not work out, because the art class one of my daughters loved was cancelled while the cheer class had more enrolled and continued on. We might try to have them do girl scounts in the fall. Not sure about that one yet. I am hoping some ideas will strike me over the summer.

If your kids are older, do they still like to, or choose to dress alike?

They only time I remotely get to dress them alike these days is for family pictures and even then they would rather be coordinating.

They just got some new coordinating outfits this past weekend and one girl wore hers today and the other held off because she did not want to be like her sister even remotely.

What specific things do you do to help encourage your children's individuality?

This can be sticky because even though my girls are very different they are still very competitive. They watch everything to make sure they are getting equal and fair treatment.

If one gets an afternoon with mom they other makes sure she gets hers too.

We have to make sure that if one gets an opportunity there is an equal matching one of their interest. Otherwise we do our own thing and they bike ride and roller blade and just play after school is out.